Disturbing Doug

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Now these are just plain creepy. I saw these at flea market…

Just look into their eyes… Their dead cold eyes…

Skeeter… the look in his eyes… looks like he’s been dead for over a decade! Oh… wait…

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Everything Pregnant

fail-pregnant-book

Everybody poops and everything gets pregnant! At least that’s what you would imagine when reading the title of this book. Now I understand this ‘The Everything’ title is supposed to be some kind of a series (like the ‘Idiots guide to…’ or ‘Dummies’ series of books). But here it just sounds… and reads, very oddly. This is one of those times when it becomes completely obvious just why something is in a junk store.

When I read title  ’The Everything Getting Pregnant Book’ I think of a very strange novel involving a magical world where a wizard walks around with magic impregnating everything from inanimate objects to humpback whales. Sounds riveting doesn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m sure Peter Jackson will turn it into a trilogy and make millions.

At least the book’s cover is useful for one thing, it informs you that you should always keep babies in a clear container so you don’t misplace it!

Found in Ollie’s Bargain Outlet Hazel Township, PA

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Talking Polaroid Camera

Wow! Who wouldn’t want a camera that could TALK to you?! That’s right this Polaroid OneStep Talking Camera has “talking features”.*

*See instruction booklet inside of box. Wait! This box didn’t have a booklet! Noooo!!

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College Olympian

So do you think you’re the best? No, really the best of the best! Do you have what it takes, well do yah?! Well then maybe, just maybe you can be the proud owner of this rarity. This is a vintage 2004 Dorm Olympics t-shirt. Worn by those brave college students who drank beer after beer to take home the gold! Or in this case plastic gold trophies.

While I have no idea what the heck this t-shirt is supposed to mean or it’s reason for existing, I can only assume that this was either a poor fundraiser promotional t-shirt or some very unpopular kid had an idea to try and make beer pong an olympic sport. He would have succeeded if it wasn’t for that open window… Well whatever the reason is, this t-shirt exists and is now taking up space on our planet. Thank you drunken college students, thank you!

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Kentucky is lucky! But Tennessee is… nevermind…

So sometimes when you’re at thrift shop, you find a shirt so stupid, so corny, and so lame that you just have to buy it! This shirt was $1.99 and turned out to be half-off! So I think this was 99 cents well spent. I doubt I’ll ever wear it, but we may just give it away in a contest here. If you’re interested check the ‘About Us’ section and send us an email. We’ll give you details once we decide what to do with this masterpiece.

Who needs cupid’s arrow? Apparently not you! Yes you, the one wearing the Kentucky shirt, you’re the one all the guys and gals want to be with! Now how could this be, does this shirt have some magical properties that make you irresistible to other people? Is the shirt just so funny that it’ll score you a date instantly? Sadly I don’t think so. But you’re free to think it will! Just don’t wander into Tennessee, your luck may not favor you too well in those parts. ;)

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But, I wanted candy…

Even though it’s still a few months until Halloween the Salvation Army has this beauty on display. Are you tired of your trick or treaters coming to your door asking ‘Where are the treats?’ without having a hilarious shirt to answer their question? Well then this shirt is for you! Because nobody wants candy on halloween, they just want you! Or probably you to give them candy…

 

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Obviously Not

So this shirt was feeling good. It was displaying a positive message to the world, letting everyone know that it’s owner was an all around good guy. Until Unlucky McGee decided to start wearing it. However after a few chuckles McGee became distraught and ashamed of his constant harassment by his significant other, declaring that he wasn’t good enough to be kept around he was kicked to the curb. Soon after, to wash the shame and guilt form his wardrobe, he donated this shirt to the Salvation Army. He was never meant to be a keeper afterall. Poor McGee now wonders aimlessly around wearing a ‘Loaner’ shirt, which better suits his personality and personal hygiene.

But fear not, for a meer $2.99 you can be a keeper too!*

*Terms and conditions apply, wearing this article of clothing does not automatically make you a “keeper”. Void in Tennessee.

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Unlucky Shirt

Well where do I even begin? First off this is one of those odd religious shirts that try to be funny, but it just comes off as weird. Okay I guess if you were really into the whole message of the shirt you may crack a smile or laugh as if it was an in-joke on your favorite TV show. But for most people? No, it just comes off as arrogant and silly.

Obviously this shirt was barely saved from the dumpster. Just like the old saying goes, “Why throw something out when you can bring it to the Salvation Army for a tax write off?”.

Also, I have a bone to pick with this shirt. If it’s not lucky, then why do you have a four leaf clover on it? Shouldn’t it have a 3 leaf clover? Or why a clover at all? They’re supposed to be lucky. The designer of this shirt was clearly confused, or maybe they just didn’t want to pay royalties for the much preferred Buddy Christ graphic.

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STOLEN MACBOOK PRO 15″ LAPTOP (Bronx, NY area) REWARD! $

Laptop and serial number has been reported as STOLEN to Apple Inc, and the Police department!
MacBook Pro Specs:
Apple MacBook Pro 15″ LCD Model (2007 Aluminum model, not unibody)
Apple Macintosh Serial Number: W87074RLW0G
Username on the Mac is: Tom Matarazzo
Computer was stolen out of a car by the Bronx / Manhattan College area dorms. See link below for more info
THANK YOU!
-Steven

Let’s Fry Away

So you must all be familiar with Frank Sinatra’s song ‘Come Fry With Me’ right? no? Well the maker of this deep fryer has tried to trick you with their puns. For shame! At any rate this deep fryer comes complete with a festive holiday hat on top of the box. Since the box is already opened and the item already used you can guarantee it’s “spotless” inside, if you don’t count the millions of crumbs from the donuts of Christmas past.

So take ol’ Blue Eye’s advice, go fry away. Just plug this one in outside first when making your deep-fried oreos, it may explode with awesomeness.

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