Author Archive

Karate Blows

This is a curious item. At a church yard sale I came across this book. A few questions come to my mind. 1) What caused the buyer to purchase this book, was his life in danger? 2) Did the book work so well that the buyer needed to sell the item in order to shake th cops? 3) Was this book so useless he’s hoping to sell it onto others as a quick way to make a buck?

Either way we can tell that this book was obviously very helpful to it’s former owner. Let’s hope somebody picks up this treasure and puts it to good use. So watch your back, hide your kids, and beware of deadly blows!

This book of win was found at a Central NJ Church Yard Sale.

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Heeeere’s Failure!!

When most people paint they try to create something beautiful, something lovely. Maybe a peaceful landscape on an spring day… or a picnic on a peaceful hill. Or maybe even a bowl of fruit. Well apparently this artist didn’t get the memo. Instead of painting something relatively calming, they painted a horrifying portrait of Jack Nicholson from the film ‘The Shining’. It’s horrifying in two ways, first the obvious, Jack’s left pupil and eye are painted oddly. Oh… and I guess the second would be that it’s a scene from a very creepy film where the character pictured is trying to murder everybody with an axe. Ah yes… the perfect painting to hang above the fireplace to welcome your friends. Hallmark should hire this guy.

Happy Halloween thrifty followers!

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I’d rather fight than… look like an idiot? Wait, what!?

What’s the next best thing to getting into a fight and getting a black eye? Pretending you have a black eye with purchase decal, wow!! For just 25 cents for 4 decals you too can promote fighting and black eyes to your children! Well you’ll just end up looking like a complete idiot I’m sure, but seeing as this isn’t a real ‘modern’ product I can imagine this being a bit of fun years ago. It’s not real convincing, but this odd set of decals might be a tad useful for Halloween… if the40-50 year old decals still stick.

Found at a yard sale in Central, NJ

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Ace’s Rockin’ Fiber-Full LP

So while searching for some good records we came across some odd records. A big box full of Demo LPs or Self-Made albums by those hoping to be the next big “thing”. Well by looking at this box it’s easy to tell that they didn’t have what it took. But at least their failure gives us some joy in the form of some very odd and unique artwork.

I present to you Mr. AceLover. It seems obvious by the cover he has created (or even more sadly paid someone else to create) that he loves his beans. He loves them so much that he just had to show his excitement of them by plastering cans all over his album cover. Right behind is ecstatic face of course. Too bad Goya never backed him like he hoped, maybe they didn’t believe in the power of hip-hop styled recipes. And while we will never know what musical wonder this record holds inside, we hope there was a rockin’ track with a recipe for a wonderful bean dip. Or failing that a rap about chili.

Found at the Goodwill near Asbury Park, NJ

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Give Me Five! Oh, wait…

Here’s another gem from a Goodwill, the often sighted awkward religious t-shirt. Sure there are many kinds of these shirts floating around, but it’s always interesting to think how this shirt was donated. Did someone really like the shirt but it no longer fit them? Was it a gift from someone and they didn’t want it? Or was their owner just too afraid to hang this shirt up in their closet due to the slogan on the shirt. You can’t not listen to a shirt with Jesus on it!  At any rate this shirt deserves better – we hope someone buys this really soon to stop Jesus from hangin’ on the t-shirt rack at Goodwill. Maybe it should be folded neatly on a shelf instead, or given the high five it so sorely deserves.

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A used breast pump…

Sorry for the lack of a witty and clever title. I just can’t think of any for this one… honestly, who would think it would be a good idea to re-sell a used breast pump? Sure maybe you can’t use it anymore and you donated it. But ah! I hope they gave that thing a good scrubbing… This definitely goes into the creepy pile. Thirsty anyone? Yeah – I didn’t think so.

Found at the East Brunswick, NJ Goodwill Store

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It’s cool to be hip!

I suppose when you’re getting older and you start to see body part after body part either break down or fall off you become very thankful for what you have. Apparently after this person lost their hip they couldn’t gloat anymore with this stylish t-shirt. Oh well, maybe when Grandma gets her hip replaced you can buy this shirt for her. Hip not included.

Found at the Goodwill Store in Fogelsville, PA.

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All Bras Go to Heaven

…or at least they go to the Dollar Tree. That’s where our friend Jeffrey found this wonderful fail. A Bra which reads “Myn dog walks all over me.” Wait – what? Myn?… Oh boy. Well maybe your dog wouldn’t if you would put some damn clothes on! Thanks for the submission Jeffrey! :)

User submission by Jeffery – Found at a Dollar Tree for $1

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Boy Band or Bust?

Honestly I don’t know who the hell this guy is. I’m taking a shot in the dark and guessing he’s either from some boy band or some long gone TV show. His cocky pose and look fit well in the world of thrift fails. And for $4.99 who wouldn’t want to take this home?

Sound off in the comments if you know who this “winner” is… and I mean a name not “a currently a spoiled rich kid who blew all his money and is now working at KFC.” That’s just common sense.

“Stupid Boy Photo” found at the East Brunswick, NJ Goodwill Store

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Don’t Copy That Floppy! …or Touch It!

So this is not too out of the ordinary is it? An outdated technological desk accessory in a thrift store. Not uncommon at all. However this one is special and deserves a fail, why you may ask? Because it’s locked and does not include a key!

There are two of these at this local Goodwill, one is unlocked with no key, and one is locked without a key as well. There isn’t even a prize of mystery floppies inside, only a taunting empty space. Well I guess they won, this really is a secure way to store your 3.25″  floppies… if you could open it up that is.

locked disk cabinet

“Locked Floppy Disk Bin” found at the East Brunswick, NJ Goodwill Store for $4.99


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