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College Olympian

So do you think you’re the best? No, really the best of the best! Do you have what it takes, well do yah?! Well then maybe, just maybe you can be the proud owner of this rarity. This is a vintage 2004 Dorm Olympics t-shirt. Worn by those brave college students who drank beer after beer to take home the gold! Or in this case plastic gold trophies.

While I have no idea what the heck this t-shirt is supposed to mean or it’s reason for existing, I can only assume that this was either a poor fundraiser promotional t-shirt or some very unpopular kid had an idea to try and make beer pong an olympic sport. He would have succeeded if it wasn’t for that open window… Well whatever the reason is, this t-shirt exists and is now taking up space on our planet. Thank you drunken college students, thank you!

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But, I wanted candy…

Even though it’s still a few months until Halloween the Salvation Army has this beauty on display. Are you tired of your trick or treaters coming to your door asking ‘Where are the treats?’ without having a hilarious shirt to answer their question? Well then this shirt is for you! Because nobody wants candy on halloween, they just want you! Or probably you to give them candy…

 

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Obviously Not

So this shirt was feeling good. It was displaying a positive message to the world, letting everyone know that it’s owner was an all around good guy. Until Unlucky McGee decided to start wearing it. However after a few chuckles McGee became distraught and ashamed of his constant harassment by his significant other, declaring that he wasn’t good enough to be kept around he was kicked to the curb. Soon after, to wash the shame and guilt form his wardrobe, he donated this shirt to the Salvation Army. He was never meant to be a keeper afterall. Poor McGee now wonders aimlessly around wearing a ‘Loaner’ shirt, which better suits his personality and personal hygiene.

But fear not, for a meer $2.99 you can be a keeper too!*

*Terms and conditions apply, wearing this article of clothing does not automatically make you a “keeper”. Void in Tennessee.

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Let’s Fry Away

So you must all be familiar with Frank Sinatra’s song ‘Come Fry With Me’ right? no? Well the maker of this deep fryer has tried to trick you with their puns. For shame! At any rate this deep fryer comes complete with a festive holiday hat on top of the box. Since the box is already opened and the item already used you can guarantee it’s “spotless” inside, if you don’t count the millions of crumbs from the donuts of Christmas past.

So take ol’ Blue Eye’s advice, go fry away. Just plug this one in outside first when making your deep-fried oreos, it may explode with awesomeness.

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