Just Plain Fail

Everything Pregnant

fail-pregnant-book

Everybody poops and everything gets pregnant! At least that’s what you would imagine when reading the title of this book. Now I understand this ‘The Everything’ title is supposed to be some kind of a series (like the ‘Idiots guide to…’ or ‘Dummies’ series of books). But here it just sounds… and reads, very oddly. This is one of those times when it becomes completely obvious just why something is in a junk store.

When I read title  ‘The Everything Getting Pregnant Book’ I think of a very strange novel involving a magical world where a wizard walks around with magic impregnating everything from inanimate objects to humpback whales. Sounds riveting doesn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m sure Peter Jackson will turn it into a trilogy and make millions.

At least the book’s cover is useful for one thing, it informs you that you should always keep babies in a clear container so you don’t misplace it!

Found in Ollie’s Bargain Outlet Hazel Township, PA

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Unlucky Shirt

Well where do I even begin? First off this is one of those odd religious shirts that try to be funny, but it just comes off as weird. Okay I guess if you were really into the whole message of the shirt you may crack a smile or laugh as if it was an in-joke on your favorite TV show. But for most people? No, it just comes off as arrogant and silly.

Obviously this shirt was barely saved from the dumpster. Just like the old saying goes, “Why throw something out when you can bring it to the Salvation Army for a tax write off?”.

Also, I have a bone to pick with this shirt. If it’s not lucky, then why do you have a four leaf clover on it? Shouldn’t it have a 3 leaf clover? Or why a clover at all? They’re supposed to be lucky. The designer of this shirt was clearly confused, or maybe they just didn’t want to pay royalties for the much preferred Buddy Christ graphic.

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Shot Glass Wedding

When two people love each other they usually end up getting married. Weddings are a wonderful celebration for family and friends. But lets not forget weirdos. They get married too. And what happens when the odd folk get married? Well they give out little gifts like this. This specially made shot glass commemorates their sacred vows to each other by making light of their own lousy gift. Maybe all of their friends liked to drink, but all we know is someone ‘cherished’ this item so much that it ended up on a shelf at Goodwill. Oh well, it was a good try. Let’s hope that marriage lasts longer then the recipient’s love for this shot glass. Yee-haw!

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No Beer For You

So here we have an interesting shirt. This lover of beer has passed the elusive Brewology 101 test. One of the most difficult tests of the drinking world. For whatever reason the owner lost their title and was forced to disown the shirt. Or maybe they were disgracefully dismissed from their university… or they drunkenly donated this to the Salvation Army, one thing is for certain. They have a drinking problem…

Found at the Salvation Army in Hazleton, PA

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Karate Blows

This is a curious item. At a church yard sale I came across this book. A few questions come to my mind. 1) What caused the buyer to purchase this book, was his life in danger? 2) Did the book work so well that the buyer needed to sell the item in order to shake th cops? 3) Was this book so useless he’s hoping to sell it onto others as a quick way to make a buck?

Either way we can tell that this book was obviously very helpful to it’s former owner. Let’s hope somebody picks up this treasure and puts it to good use. So watch your back, hide your kids, and beware of deadly blows!

This book of win was found at a Central NJ Church Yard Sale.

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Heeeere’s Failure!!

When most people paint they try to create something beautiful, something lovely. Maybe a peaceful landscape on an spring day… or a picnic on a peaceful hill. Or maybe even a bowl of fruit. Well apparently this artist didn’t get the memo. Instead of painting something relatively calming, they painted a horrifying portrait of Jack Nicholson from the film ‘The Shining’. It’s horrifying in two ways, first the obvious, Jack’s left pupil and eye are painted oddly. Oh… and I guess the second would be that it’s a scene from a very creepy film where the character pictured is trying to murder everybody with an axe. Ah yes… the perfect painting to hang above the fireplace to welcome your friends. Hallmark should hire this guy.

Happy Halloween thrifty followers!

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A used breast pump…

Sorry for the lack of a witty and clever title. I just can’t think of any for this one… honestly, who would think it would be a good idea to re-sell a used breast pump? Sure maybe you can’t use it anymore and you donated it. But ah! I hope they gave that thing a good scrubbing… This definitely goes into the creepy pile. Thirsty anyone? Yeah – I didn’t think so.

Found at the East Brunswick, NJ Goodwill Store

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All Bras Go to Heaven

…or at least they go to the Dollar Tree. That’s where our friend Jeffrey found this wonderful fail. A Bra which reads “Myn dog walks all over me.” Wait – what? Myn?… Oh boy. Well maybe your dog wouldn’t if you would put some damn clothes on! Thanks for the submission Jeffrey! :)

User submission by Jeffery – Found at a Dollar Tree for $1

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Don’t Copy That Floppy! …or Touch It!

So this is not too out of the ordinary is it? An outdated technological desk accessory in a thrift store. Not uncommon at all. However this one is special and deserves a fail, why you may ask? Because it’s locked and does not include a key!

There are two of these at this local Goodwill, one is unlocked with no key, and one is locked without a key as well. There isn’t even a prize of mystery floppies inside, only a taunting empty space. Well I guess they won, this really is a secure way to store your 3.25″  floppies… if you could open it up that is.

locked disk cabinet

“Locked Floppy Disk Bin” found at the East Brunswick, NJ Goodwill Store for $4.99


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